Alright...
tl:dr - did the soak, changed the oil, went on drive, oil light came on, ticking started, car died, brought it home, car turns over, won't start, manual turning of crank had a pretty solid resistance point, resistance point should cyl1 at top of stroke? touching or almost touching valves.
I let the second soak sit, then sucked up/absorbed the leftover on cyl 2 & 4.
I started the car and let it idle until up to temp while I simultaneously charged the AC. Good news, cold AC. Bad news, keep reading.
Something interesting to note is that I did not see any smoke at all during this process. Reading other posts, it seemed like smoke was an outcome of doing this soak.
After the car ran for about 10-15 minutes I went ahead and changed the oil for 5w40, put in a new filter, and took it for a drive.
I got a few miles down the road and I saw that the oil light came on. First thought was to look in the rearview, I saw no oil, about 5-10 seconds after the light came on, I started to hear a tick, so I pulled over and the next shoulder which was about 10-20 seconds away. At this point the ticking had become much louder. I check the engine bay and there's no signs of oil, none under the car, just a small amount of oil smoke that went away quickly. Checked oil level and it was right where it was when I left the house. Anyways I give everything a look over and then start the car one more time, does not sound good at all, I turn the car back off after 3-4 seconds.
Unfortunately, where I broke down was a skinny 2 lane (i pulled over at the end of a gravel driveway) and to get out of there asap since I have no registration on the car, yet I called a friend to come flat tow me. I wasn't going to be able to get turned around so I started the car up to position it where it is coming out of the driveway. Pull forward slowly, put it in reverse and as I get into reverse it dies, won't start. Luckily, I had moved enough to get it going the opposite direction.
Got the car home safely, parked it out on the curb because I can't get it up my driveway right now. I did just a little bit of looking yesterday and this is what I found:
- Car does appear to turn over and if I remember right, doesn't seem to make any bad noises while trying to start, but no combustion.
- turning crank by hand with plugs out brought me to a pretty solid resistance point that I didn't want to play with too much.
- out of curiosity I brought out the borescope and checked each cylinder and it looks to have stopped where cyl1 is at the top of its stroke? Or at least near the top. Maybe related maybe not.
- Code P0011-c (odb2) and P0011-ff(PCM) from FORScan. No other codes engine related. 
Any ideas? I think turning over without issue, but having that resistance turning it over by hand was weird.