The car I wanted doesn't like me very much but that's okay

Glad you've got it running, looks like quite the journey.

A bov shouldn't increase spool times that's really odd that you've noticed that especially at a "drastic increase" if anything a bpv is supposed to have increased spool times after shift due to recirc air.

Sounds like the bov you had was not tuned (appropriate spring) at all for your car, because there's nothing really you need to ECU tune wise for your car to run one just ensure appropriate spring
This video explains it all

 

In my case, the BOV sounded nasty asf if I WOT when I’m parked. Driving, my turbo would almost always snap to 15psi boost at WOT. But after shifting, it would almost sound like a machine gun, misfiring almost every combustion that happens until i let off my gas pedal for 5+ seconds. After that throttle rest, car would seem to drive “normally” until either shifting or cruising. Kind of hard to explain, wish I had a video of me driving with the BOV. Either way yes, I do not believe that BOV was tuned properly at all.
EDIT—- When I say it “snapped” to 15psi I mean like less than 1 second maybe and I’m sitting at 15psi after 100% pedal application. Now with the OEM BPV, boost takes a second to build and sometimes doesn’t even reach 15psi under certain conditions.

 

Oiiiiiiiiiiiii.!!!!!! Me starter finally gave out, pulling intake tonight to assess damage and see if i can find this damned oil leak. Will keep updated but at this rate its looking like motor rebuilding time….